" Well," said the pirate, "We were in a battle, and I got hit with a cannon ball, but I'm fine now."The bartender replied: "Well, OK, but what about that hook? What happened to your hand?"The pirate explained: "We were in another battle. I boarded a ship and got into a sword fight. My hand was cut off. I got fitted with a hook but I'm fine, really." What about that eye patch?" Oh," said the pirate, "One day we were at sea, and a flock of birds flew over. I looked up, and one of them crapped in my eye." You're kidding," said the bartender. "You couldn't lose an eye just from bird crap."And the pirate replied,"It was my first day with the hook."This one is compliments of LarryEver wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%. How about achieving 103%? Here's a little math that might prove helpful.What makes life 100%?If A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Zis represented as:1 2 3 4 5 6 7. He seems to be in trouble. Damn, I forgot how frightening my sister can be when she’s angry. Should I step in and take the blame? It’s not exactly my fault, but I feel like a burden already and I haven’t even been here for ten minutes.“That doesn’t sound like a demand to me. Why couldn’t you just introduce yourself? Would that have been too hard? Devin has been driving for half a day and you couldn’t show a little bit of courtesy to him?”“Are you fucking kidding me? I should be courteous? Should I thank him for showing up unannounced too? I didn’t even want him here. You told me either he stays or I go. What do you want from me? We’ve been together for almost two years and I’ve never even met the guy, but you want me to drop everything and cater to his every need.” Cory yelled, red in the face.Holy shit. This is bad. I just walked into a powder keg and I don’t see any way to exit.“He’s my little brother, of course you should be courteous. Why are you so fucking hostile towards him?.
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